My Last Confession
by BowtiesWaistcoatsAndCurls
Summary: Au Sherlock Holmes is not the man he appears to be. He has been hiding a secret for thousands of years but even the great Sherlock Holmes can't escape from pain, longing and death. This is his last confession before he goes home. Read it well...
1. Chapter 1

If I was to say Sherlock Holmes what would you think of? The dynamic, charming, complicated man from my dear Arthur's stories. The adventures of the impossible Sherlock Holmes and his faithful companion John Watson, flattering really. Wrong of course, but Arthur's only a partially prophetic so that was to be expected. That was a dangerous time for me though; people thinking they recognise me. I learnt soon enough to hide in the shadows and soon could pass unnoticed until my fame died down again. After a while everyone forgot me, films were made and people's perceptions of me changed meaning 'John Watson' and I could live normal lives. However I've learnt now that even I can't hide from pain and death; so this is my last confession. Read it well.

I never aimed to become a detective, when I was young I wanted to be a great pirate captain, using my powers to defeat the British navy, the 'good' guys. Not that I'm a bad guy, to quote that infuriating TV series 'I may be on the side of the angels, but do not think for one moment I am one of them'. Not that I'm an angel anymore, I cut off my wings long ago. However that TV series is the main reason I'm being forced to come forth. People are recognising me and reminding me of things I do not wish to remember. I've lived too long and seen too many people die and leave me.

I imagine I've confused many of your tiny brains by now. I am Sherlock Holmes, archangel, grand sorcerer, and consultant detective. I have existed for too long, I lost count of the exact years but I pre-exist even the earth itself. As I grew up I hungered for knowledge, when I had learnt all Heaven could teach me I left my home for earth and trained at all the great sorcery schools until there was no one left to teach me. I then experimented and invented spells myself and taught myself everything I found important from the normals. I used all my extensive knowledge to solve the problems of the normals, sorcerers and wayward angels; to become the Earths's first and only sorcerer and normal consultant detective.

I've fought wars, saved lives and changed nations. Not what you were expecting? Then let me surprise you once more. John Watson does not exist, never has and never will. However Violet Watson used to exist. Violet was the perfect assistant for me, despite her lack of magic, she was everything I wasn't and more. However too many people saw that she was my weakness and even before we got married there were many attempts on her life, forcing us to separate temporarily. She disguised herself as a man, naming herself John, then trained as an army doctor and entered the army. We kept our marriage and her sex a secret throughout those years and only contacted each other in code, using my job as a consultant detective as a cover; as far as anyone was concerned I was looking into the whereabouts of John's wife who had gone missing in 'suspicious circumstances'. It was a dark day for me when she was shot and I couldn't see her, they wouldn't even tell me if she was living or dead as there was no evidence of who she was (they had naturally discovered her true sex) and I couldn't prove that she was married to me.

It was difficult pretending to John's friend Mike that and John and I were perfect strangers, arranging our meeting was fun though. John was against taking advantage of Mike's predictability but I'm nothing if not convincing and we tricked Mike into taking John to visit me. John had greatly changed, I'd never seen Violet as John but even without that she was almost unrecognisable. She was brown as a nut and thin as a rake. She was sallow and had obviously lost weight rapidly, but she was very fit. She moved stiffly making it clear how aware she was of her wound, but she moved with military purpose. She made a handsome male, it still makes me smile to remember how nervous she was to see me again. Irritatingly Mike refused to leave us alone together so our reunion was dampened but we made up for that when John came back to live in my apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

We quickly got back into our old habits; she would help me with my work and stop me from nearly revealing my true species on a daily basis. I would irritate her to the point of madness and astound her to the point of wonder. The only major difference was that she was no longer Violet to me, rather she was John. You might find it weird that even I called her John but you have to understand that she wasn't my Violet anymore. Obviously she had killed before for me, but there is a difference between killing a criminal and killing an innocent man who happened to have been born in the wrong country at the wrong time, between killing a murderer and killing a child before they killed your friends.

That was my one regret; I wasn't there for her. That was the day she got shot. Even I, Sherlock Holmes; genius, sorcerer and fallen angel can't predict the future. That would make life boring and, as John would have told you, I can't do boredom. I'll admit now that I may have slightly overreacted at the news of my beloved being shot; I wasn't thinking straight: I used my powers to curse all those who were fighting against my John. I cursed them to die of a disease that could have been cured by the British and for their descendants to fight among each other until they are all wiped out. My curse is nearly complete and still can't find it in myself to regret it.

That was how Moriarty figured out I wasn't human. He had had his suspicions for a long time and wasn't human himself. I have often described Moriarty as a spider in a web, which is more literal than you may think. Moriarty is a Spider Demon. You may look at disbelief at that but let me assure you, I am telling the truth. Angels and demons have existed since before the creation of the Earth. Demons as a species are directly descended from fallen angels. When an angel falls they lose their grace, for an angel to live without their grace is the worst torture imaginable. An angels grace is the equivalent to a human soul; to be without it causes immense pain for the angel, loss of sanity and can deform them beyond recognition. It makes it very easy for Lucifer to slip an essence of another creature, sometimes himself, into them and gain control over them, turning them into a demon. Moriarty was given a Brazilian wandering spider's essence, making him one of the most deadly creatures in existence. He uses his powers half for himself and half for Lucifer, but he is his own master.

Moriarty decided to test me, he sent various people to set me challenges. Each time I bested him without revealing myself; it got close on a few occasions though. The worst was when Hope managed to convince me to take a pill to prove I could figure out which pill contained the poison. Moriarty had infected the safe tablet so that both tablets would have killed a human, but before I could take it John killed Hope and took me away from there. Moriarty was cleverer than I gave him credit for though, he forced me into revealing myself. He had watched me from his web like the spider he is and had discovered my hidden weakness for John. He had watched us from our own home and had realised what no one else knew; that my John was not just my partner- that she was a women. That she was my wife. That she was my pregnant wife.

Not the most convenient thing having a pregnant 'male' partner but John had always wanted a child; she had such a big heart. While I am not known for having much of a heart, rather known for my logic, for once I was following my heart not my head. We both wanted a child, we knew it wasn't safe to raise a child with our jobs but if anyone could manage it, it would be us. John was strong, good with a gun, loving and determined, I was observant, fast and powerful. It would take a madman to attempt to steal from us. Unfortunately that madman had a plan.


	3. Chapter 3

As hard as this is to say I made a mistake; I was wrong. I have always said that love is a chemical defect found in the losing side, yet allowed my heart to overrule my head and was confident that John and I could stay together and have a family. Logically I knew that John would die before me but I never imagined I'd have to die before him.

When John became pregnant we stopped hiding our love, we would often visit crime scenes hand in hand and, as Greg would often tell us, we had a habit of staring deeply into each other's eyes at inappropriate moments- such as over a corpse. This habit was mainly due to my lack of experience in expressing emotion. I was a fool, I was so focused on John I didn't notice Moriarty watching us until he visited me.

John was 6 months pregnant at the time and was clearly showing; we could hardly hide her sexuality anymore but we decided it didn't matter; she was stronger and braver than most men anyway. She was visiting an old army friend who knew about her when Moriarty visited. We had an interesting conversation where much was made clear to each other. I discovered that I was wrong about Moriarty's intensions. Moriarty was one of the few creatures alive who knew how to 'kill' me; to burn a whole one of my feathers and clip my soul. This is harder than it sounds; when I clipped my feathers I spread tiny bits of them over the entire earth and only have two whole feathers left (without at least one whole feather I would become powerless as they contain the last of my grace) and those feathers are separate and closely guarded, one by me and one by a powerful human descendant who will remain nameless. I wrongly assumed Moriarty would threaten and steal my feather and burn it to send me into hell and madness, and that I could stop and destroy him before he had the chance. As I'm sure most of you are aware this wasn't what happened; the Reichenbach fall happened.

Moriarty told me that he would destroy me in his own time, that first he owed me a fall. After he left I began noticing 'IOU' painted in all the places where I had had major cases. There were4 variations of this graffiti, each standing for a different person. There was one surrounded by a pair of black wings losing two feathers- that was me. The second showed England falling- I'd always insisted that is Mrs Hudson left Baker Street England would fall. The third had a pair of handcuffs and a revolver- Lestrade. The forth was more subtle; Moriarty was eating an apple while he was at my appartment and had carved IOU into it. He had also used his powers to insert a Brazilian wandering spider inside the apple so that when you held it up to sunlight you could see it moving around inside, like the apple was pregnant. There is a saying that 'an apple a day keeps the Doctor away'- this fall was for John, and would possibly destroy our child. It was clear to me at this point that I was going to have to jump, to make it look like I killed myself. If I didn't Moriarty would kill everyone close to me, my only 3 friends in the world, and would make sure to kill them in such a way that John's and my child would blame me and be filled with hate and poison.

I couldn't tell John before I fell, she would try to stop me and get killed, so I sent her away, I think she was suspicious at the time but she didn't say anything about it, and I went to meet Moriarty with my feather.

here...


End file.
